When Paul & Al first showed up on 94HJY, I was still in high school, depleting the ozone layer with Aquanet and probably standing in line at Ann & Hope to buy Poison tickets. Now, 36 years later, Paul & Al are hanging up their headphones and going the way of other beloved Rhode Island institutions like Almacs and Benny's.
And though we know most senior Rhode Islanders retire to Florida, if the guys would rather stick around Providence, we've got a few retirement gigs in mind.
1. Providence Ghost Tour Guides: All those years spent getting Rhode Island out of bed gave them all the experience they need for waking the dead. We don't know what's scarier, the ghosts or how many puns Paul & Al can fit into one sentence.
2. Geoff's Superlative Sandwiches Counter: Geoff's already has a Paul & Al sandwich on the menu. All that's left is for the guys to show up and offer some quality control in person. And we want to see them try to keep a straight face when somebody orders the Juggs.
3. Providence River Boat Company Captains: Decades of steering a morning show makes piloting a slow boat down the Providence River look like a piece of cake.
4. Roger Williams Park Zoo Train Conductors: Every zoo train needs a conductor ... and a soundtrack. Swap the kid-friendly jingle for a little Zeppelin and give the toddlers a taste of their grandparents' music.
5. Providence Rink Bumper Cars Traffic Control: Who's better at monitoring a pileup than two guys who spent the last 36 years in a studio overlooking Route 95?
6. Comedy Bus Tour Guides: Three decades of "Stump the DJ" means Paul & Al have more one-liners than Providence has landmarks. We bet the guests will be rolling in the aisles. Or at least rolling their eyes.
7. Providence Flea Vendors: Every T-shirt, bumper sticker and mug they've collected over the years, finally on sale to the people who've been trying to win one for the past three decades. Forget trying to be caller number five – just walk right up and buy some vintage Paul & Al swag to remember them by.
Wherever retirement takes you, we wish you the best. Our morning commutes will never be the same.
